Short Video by Dr. Sue Johnson:
Negative Communication Patterns
More Love in the World, One Couple at at Time
Do you find yourself repeating the same frustrating patterns? Do you find that sometimes you just can't communicate at all? Are anger, frustration and disappointment tarnishing what was once a good relationship? Has there been an affair or crisis, or have you just grown apart? Having a successful, happy relationship is one of the most challenging things we can do (it does sometimes seem like we come from different planets!). Yet it is also so satisfying and fulfilling when we get it right. One of my personal frustrations is that nobody ever taught us how to do this! We studied all kinds of other things in school, but we learned very little about perhaps the most important thing of all - how to develop and maintain a loving, supportive relationship! My biggest satisfaction is helping couples learn how to get it right! To go from misunderstanding, hurt and anger to understanding, connecting, and loving.
The Most Effective Marriage Counseling Available
Dr. Sue Johnson, a Canadian Psychologist found herself frustrated with the dismally low success rate of marriage counseling (about 35%) and was determined to find a more effective way to help couples who were struggling. After years of study, working with hundreds of couples, and much research, she developed Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This method of working with couples goes beyond the repetitive arguments that couples have and helps them rebuild strong bonds of love, trust, affection, and support. This method of working with couples is respectful, supportive, and, most importantly, has a success rate closer to 90%. I see the results of this way of working with couples every day in my office. Couples generally come in nervous, one partner may be reluctant, and they are expecting to have basically a mediated fight in my office. Within minutes, they realize this is something so much better, that finally they have a chance to be heard , to be understood , and to rebuild their loving relationship.
We all need to feel the connection with our partner
Here's a link to a powerful video (11 min) with Drs. Sue Johnson & Ed Tronick that demonstrates the importance of being able to feel connected with our partner; to know that they will respond to us when we reach out. We are biologically wired to need these special relationships, and when we feel that we can't connect with our partner, it is natural to either escalate our efforts or withdraw into ourselves. This is an example of how negative (and often repetitive) patterns can be created with the most important people in our lives. It also shows how powerful it is when we are able to re-connect with our loved one.
Love Sense with Sue Johnson & Ed Tronick
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